On Adjustment
No matter who we are, what we are capable of
doing, where we are , or any other thing of that sort, adjustment in an
inevitable part of our life. Right from our birth up to our death we need to
adjust with our surrounding in some way. We cannot choose our parents, or place
or situation of our birth. We cannot choose the enviournment of the womb.
Similarly we always cannot choose the situation around us. As soon as the
expression ‘we cannot choose’ comes the act of adjustment becomes necessary.
And ultimately it is seen that baring very few instances, we need to come to
adjustment.
Consider for example buying of a house, or a
car etc. We basically think that we buy the house or car of our choices. To
some extent it is correct. But what is it that determines our choices? We have
delimited our choices to the model which is available. We only buy something
out of what is available. No matter how much we pay we cannot open up a car
factory to manufacture the car we desire to buy. Similarly we may go a couple
of steps further in case of house which we can order to build, still the
manpower, the technology, the material and many other factors are only those
that are already available. Thus we delimit our choices on those available resources.
Adjustment in such cases is – match between our resources and the available
choices outside. The difference is only in the fact that either we do not see
it or we do not want to admit such delimitation. And any kind of delimitation
requires some adjustment. Similar is true also of our body. We think we can
enjoy lots of things but we are delimited by our body. There are many things to
which our body would not permit like going beyond a certain limit below the
water or like flying etc. Thus we are delimited by our body. We are also
delimited by the time, which is experienced by everybody. We cannot live
forever. Similarly we are also delimited by the stages of life like childhood, youth,
old age etc. Thus no matter how much we feel free, we are adjusting at some
level every time.
Similar is the situation with the relations.
Relations are of many kinds. Few of them are those on which we have no control.
They come by our birth like our father, mother, children, siblings, uncles, cousins
etc., many of them are superimposed like our colleagues, boss, neighbours etc.
And some of them are those that we make like friends etc. Though there are many
kinds, but we need to adjustment in all of them. Relationship is perhaps the
most demanding field for adjustment.
The common thought about the word adjustment is
that it is some kind of compromise that we need to make. And there is a
negative sense associated with the word compromise. When we say that we need to
adjust, we have a prejudiced notion that we have to compromise. It is not
completely wrong but the way it is accepted, makes it something very negative
which it is not.
Actually, the concept of Adjustment involves
two aspects which are: compromise and benefit. In each kind of adjustment we
need to compromise. The fact that there is adjustment everywhere has already
been made evident. And every adjustment involves some kind of compromise. The
other aspect involved with adjustment is the benefit. As has been said
adjustment does not necessarily mean something negative. There are also
benefits involved with it.
Now the main question is what makes one kind of
adjustment beneficial and the other type of adjustment a compromise? It is
nothing external, but our mental attitude towards it. When we project the
beneficial side, we do not tend to notice the compromise that is involved in
that adjustment. In such cases we generally ignore the very fact that we are
making any adjustments. Cases like buying of house or car or choosing a friend,
spouse etc. In these cases, since the choice is made by us we tend to focus on
the beneficial part of the adjustment and completely ignore the compromise
part. This is especially true with respect to the initial time of making the
choice. However other factors do appear after the initial phase is over, but
this is an altogether different discussion. And the course is just reverse in
case of the choices that are not made by us. In such cases we only find faults
with the choice, although the benefits are also noticed but it is completely
ignored at least in the initial period. We are fully convinced of only our
compromises in such cases.
To summarize the whole discussion: Interaction
with almost all the things of the world including our own choices involves some
kind of adjustment. Adjustment is not a negative word. It has two aspects which
are benefit and compromise. Irrespective to the actual object, it is our
attitude that determines whether the adjustment is beneficial or involves
compromise.
Therefore we must develop correct attitude
towards objects, events, and persons etc. which are around us. This correct
attitude can be developed by our own experience. But our experiences are always
limited. Therefore learning from the experiences of our ancestors and a
holistic and keen observation of the people and society around helps us develop
the right attitude towards objects. This attitude helps us see both the long
term benefits in the present situation of compromise as well as the later
compromises involved in the present beneficial situation.
Much of the age old traditions that have
ripened beneficial fruits through ages and even in the prior generations seen
by us, are abandoned because of lack of this attitude. This is one of the major
causes of dissatisfaction in objects around us especially in the relations and
the culture passed on to us. This is so because these involve much adjustment
in the initial stage to reap the benefit later. A careful attitude of observing
the long term benefits from them and keeping them in front shall help reduce
the feeling of compromise that is associated with them, which would only lead
to great benefits that are its inherent characteristic.
