Let the pigeon fly!!!
Pigeons
are nuisance to the human dwellings. Especially in a town lacking in trees unlike
the country side. They defecate at all the places and scatter things
everywhere. There are some health complications too associated with them. Pigeon
as a species is certainly not very likable in these aspects. Thus, there is a
natural tendency to dislike them. Is it possible to have another option in such
a situation? Can we also just ‘not like them’ rather than ‘dislike’ them? Do
these two sound the same?
Let
us begin by simply analyzing these two reflexive emotions especially ‘not
liking’ and ‘disliking’. Both these emotions are not the same and there is
certainly a difference between them. Not liking is absence of a positive
emotion, but disliking is presence of a negative emotion. There are so many
things that we may not like. Do we start to think that we dislike or hate them?
Unconsciously YES. Does it help? Certainly NO. Why? Because, no kind of
negative emotion can bring happiness ultimately. Negative emotions sometimes
give a sense of gratification of feeling superior, but they hurt us in the long
run. So, what can be done? Let us first try to bring a little awareness about some
common things and the emotions connected with dislike.
Firstly,
all the things that exist in the Universe are simply playing their role in a
large but single setup. The exhaust pipe is simply emitting out whatever has
been used by the engine to ultimately run our vehicle. Does that make the
exhaust pipe dislikeable? Even if a thing is really harmful, it is in a way
just playing its part.
Secondly,
liking and disliking is an innate human emotion which is highly relative. Something
can be disliked by one, but at the same time may be liked by the other. Thus,
our dislike does not define the real nature of the thing. Sometimes, we
ourselves start liking the thing which we disliked earlier. Hence, liking and
disliking is relative and may often change. We need not hold to it very tight.
Thirdly,
since dislike is a negative emotion like other such emotions as anger, greed
etc. it will produce its negative effect. Dislike, being an emotion, resides in
the person and not in the object; hence it is not going to change the object in
any way. It is only going to affect the person it is residing in, and of course
in a negative way.
Fourthly,
ideally, we want to avoid the things we dislike. But practically, we end up
thinking more about the things we dislike. That is certainly not what we desire.
Finally,
our dislike, no matter how satisfying, is ultimately bringing misery to our
happy existence. Any kind of dislike is ultimately hurting us. Dislike would
only make us bitter even towards things that never intend to hurt us
consciously.
This
brings us to the discussion about the ways of avoiding it. Of course, each
person has his own way of finding the way out, but there can be some common line
of thought.
It
is Okay to ‘not like’ something. It is not expected from anyone to like
everything. But let us avoid (wrongly) translating it to ‘dislike’.
There
can be a few ways to stick ourself to just not liking. Not all things in the
world can be pleasing to us. Let us
accept that all the things are simply playing their part. Somehow, they are
acting (either good or bad, which again is relative) to ultimately serve their aim
of existence.
If
something is a nuisance, let us avoid it. No amount of dislike is going to
bring a change in the thing. Let us keep ourselves away from it.
In
a way, we ourselves tend to hold the object of our dislike tight inside us by thinking
about it.
Let’s
free our mind to let the pigeon fly!!!
The
same thing can be extended to similar feeling towards negative situations and
persons related to them. We tend to develop a disliking towards an incident
that may have hurt us. We cling to it, not allowing it to escape, even if it
wants to. Since, we associate it with negativity, every time we think about it,
it spreads negativity mostly in the form of bitterness. Let us take that incident
as a stepping stone for our personality to rise. No matter how painful the
falling from the cycle had been, we finally accept it as a learning process and realize its importance in a positive way. Though it had hurt us and no one
likes to fall, but there is no matter of liking or disliking there.
Extending
the same thing to a person can be difficult because there are complex emotions
involved. But let us try to rationalize the emotion (no matter how
contradictory that sounds). Let us try to accept the whole personality of the
person and not sieve out things and hold on to just good qualities(as we did
sometime) or bad qualities(as we are doing now). Let us also remind ourselves
that, our interaction with them in a way is meant for development of our own
personality. The interaction has taught us some first-hand lessons. And, any
form of dislike would only bring bitterness and spread negativity in and around
us and it is never going to change anything in the person. Let us try to bring
ourselves to the state of ‘not liking’. And as stated earlier, it is OK to not
like.
There
is no denial to our efforts towards changing the situation or the person for
betterment. But that is a different topic and certainly, dislike is not going
to help even there.
So
let that pigeon of dislike fly too!!!
वि.सं. २०७८
शके १९४३
