बच्चे तो समझ जायेंगे पर बडों को कौन समझायेगा

 

बच्चे तो समझ जायेंगे पर बडों को कौन समझायेगा 

घंटो-घंटो साथ में खेले,रुठे-मनाये गिरे-उठाये,

लडायी भी शामिल खेल में जिनके, जैसे सभी एक झाडू के तिनके,

कौन इनको आपस में जुडने से रोक पायेगा,

बच्चे तो समझ जायेंगे पर बडों को कौन समझायेगा ।।

 

बच्चों के जीवन के रस में, अपनी झूठी अहंकारिता को घोल,

जिन हरकतो से बच्चे बनते बच्चे, उनके दोषों का जो पीटे ढोल,

अतिरिक्त ध्यान से क्या तू उनको अधिक खुश रख पायेगा,

बच्चे तो समझ जायेंगे पर बडों को कौन समझायेगा ।।

 

परिवार उस माला को कहते,जिसमें बींधे है मोती अनेक,

छोटे-मोटे उपर-नीचे गोल-बेढोल काला गोरा,

जैसे होते जहाँ  भी होते,करते इस माला को पूरा,

जो तू  इसमें फूट कभी चाहे-अनचाहे डालेगा,

करके दुःखी उस पूर्ण समूह को क्या तू खुश रह पायेगा,

बच्चे तो समझ जायेंगे पर बडों को कौन समझायेगा ।।

 

अन-बन बन-बन बन-बन अनबन,  मैं-तू तू-मैं तेरा-मेरा पन,

होते यह सब हर पल हर जन,पर बैठा ना इनकों मन में पन,

अन्त में ठोके गा सिर को तू जो तू हमपन न देख पायेगा,

बच्चे तो समझ जायेंगे पर बडों को कौन समझायेगा ।।

 

मिल- बाट कर होते जो कार्य, होते सभी उन में अनिवार्य,

रखकर खुद के नाम को आगे यश न देकर साथी के भागे,

क्या इस समूहात्मक कार्य को तू अकेला ही कर पायेगा,

बच्चे तो समझ जायेंगे पर बडों को कौन समझायेगा ।।

 

देश(जहाँ पर)  में रहकर देश(जहाँ) का खाये, इससे/जिससे  पा सब विदेश(सब ओर) को जाये,

कुछ ना अर्पण करके भी जो,खुद के देश(मूल) पर बैठे पछताये,

जहाँ से सीखा होना खडा, जहाँ से भाग विश्व में जो हुआ बडा,

क्या तू अपने अस्तित्व को इससे अलग कर पायेगा,

बच्चे तो समझ जायेंगे पर बडों को कौन समझायेगा ।।

 

घर में रूठे मुँह को लेकर जो  बाहरी खुशियाँ मनायेगा,

गैस पे रखकर के खिचडी को, जो बातों में ही पकवान पकायेगा,

बुद्धिमत्ता की पुकार लगाकर, जो इन विडम्बनाओं को न देख पायेगा,

क्या इन झूठे आडम्बरो से तू अपने रिश्तों को बचा पायेगा,

बच्चे तो समझ जायेंगे पर बडों को कौन समझायेगा ।।

 

जो हम देखे वह सब देखे , सब वह सोचे जो हम सुझाये ,

जो हम बोले वह सब बोले , जो हम समझे उसको सराहे,

ऐसि सीधी दृष्टि से तू क्या दुनिया को गोल जान पायेगा ,

बच्चे तो समझ जायेंगे पर बडों को कौन समझायेगा ।।

Let the pigeon fly !!!

 

Let the pigeon fly!!!

 

Pigeons are nuisance to the human dwellings. Especially in a town lacking in trees unlike the country side. They defecate at all the places and scatter things everywhere. There are some health complications too associated with them. Pigeon as a species is certainly not very likable in these aspects. Thus, there is a natural tendency to dislike them. Is it possible to have another option in such a situation? Can we also just ‘not like them’ rather than ‘dislike’ them? Do these two sound the same?

Let us begin by simply analyzing these two reflexive emotions especially ‘not liking’ and ‘disliking’. Both these emotions are not the same and there is certainly a difference between them. Not liking is absence of a positive emotion, but disliking is presence of a negative emotion. There are so many things that we may not like. Do we start to think that we dislike or hate them? Unconsciously YES. Does it help? Certainly NO. Why? Because, no kind of negative emotion can bring happiness ultimately. Negative emotions sometimes give a sense of gratification of feeling superior, but they hurt us in the long run. So, what can be done? Let us first try to bring a little awareness about some common things and the emotions connected with dislike.

Firstly, all the things that exist in the Universe are simply playing their role in a large but single setup. The exhaust pipe is simply emitting out whatever has been used by the engine to ultimately run our vehicle. Does that make the exhaust pipe dislikeable? Even if a thing is really harmful, it is in a way just playing its part.

Secondly, liking and disliking is an innate human emotion which is highly relative. Something can be disliked by one, but at the same time may be liked by the other. Thus, our dislike does not define the real nature of the thing. Sometimes, we ourselves start liking the thing which we disliked earlier. Hence, liking and disliking is relative and may often change. We need not hold to it very tight.

Thirdly, since dislike is a negative emotion like other such emotions as anger, greed etc. it will produce its negative effect. Dislike, being an emotion, resides in the person and not in the object; hence it is not going to change the object in any way. It is only going to affect the person it is residing in, and of course in a negative way.

Fourthly, ideally, we want to avoid the things we dislike. But practically, we end up thinking more about the things we dislike. That is certainly not what we desire.

Finally, our dislike, no matter how satisfying, is ultimately bringing misery to our happy existence. Any kind of dislike is ultimately hurting us. Dislike would only make us bitter even towards things that never intend to hurt us consciously.

This brings us to the discussion about the ways of avoiding it. Of course, each person has his own way of finding the way out, but there can be some common line of thought.

It is Okay to ‘not like’ something. It is not expected from anyone to like everything. But let us avoid (wrongly) translating it to ‘dislike’.

There can be a few ways to stick ourself to just not liking. Not all things in the world can be pleasing to us.  Let us accept that all the things are simply playing their part. Somehow, they are acting (either good or bad, which again is relative) to ultimately serve their aim of existence.  

If something is a nuisance, let us avoid it. No amount of dislike is going to bring a change in the thing. Let us keep ourselves away from it.  

In a way, we ourselves tend to hold the object of our dislike tight inside us by thinking about it.

Let’s free our mind to let the pigeon fly!!!

The same thing can be extended to similar feeling towards negative situations and persons related to them. We tend to develop a disliking towards an incident that may have hurt us. We cling to it, not allowing it to escape, even if it wants to. Since, we associate it with negativity, every time we think about it, it spreads negativity mostly in the form of bitterness. Let us take that incident as a stepping stone for our personality to rise. No matter how painful the falling from the cycle had been, we finally accept it as a learning process and realize its importance in a positive way. Though it had hurt us and no one likes to fall, but there is no matter of liking or disliking there.

Extending the same thing to a person can be difficult because there are complex emotions involved. But let us try to rationalize the emotion (no matter how contradictory that sounds). Let us try to accept the whole personality of the person and not sieve out things and hold on to just good qualities(as we did sometime) or bad qualities(as we are doing now). Let us also remind ourselves that, our interaction with them in a way is meant for development of our own personality. The interaction has taught us some first-hand lessons. And, any form of dislike would only bring bitterness and spread negativity in and around us and it is never going to change anything in the person. Let us try to bring ourselves to the state of ‘not liking’. And as stated earlier, it is OK to not like.

There is no denial to our efforts towards changing the situation or the person for betterment. But that is a different topic and certainly, dislike is not going to help even there.

So let that pigeon of dislike fly too!!!  

 

आषाढ़ शु. ११
वि.सं. २०७८
शके १९४३

 

 

 

End of Learning : One line Blog

 

 Q. When does one stop learning ?

                                                                                                Ans.  I  know.

चैत्र.शु. 11, 2078

On Adjustment

On Adjustment

No matter who we are, what we are capable of doing, where we are , or any other thing of that sort, adjustment in an inevitable part of our life. Right from our birth up to our death we need to adjust with our surrounding in some way. We cannot choose our parents, or place or situation of our birth. We cannot choose the enviournment of the womb. Similarly we always cannot choose the situation around us. As soon as the expression ‘we cannot choose’ comes the act of adjustment becomes necessary. And ultimately it is seen that baring very few instances, we need to come to adjustment.

Consider for example buying of a house, or a car etc. We basically think that we buy the house or car of our choices. To some extent it is correct. But what is it that determines our choices? We have delimited our choices to the model which is available. We only buy something out of what is available. No matter how much we pay we cannot open up a car factory to manufacture the car we desire to buy. Similarly we may go a couple of steps further in case of house which we can order to build, still the manpower, the technology, the material and many other factors are only those that are already available. Thus we delimit our choices on those available resources. Adjustment in such cases is – match between our resources and the available choices outside. The difference is only in the fact that either we do not see it or we do not want to admit such delimitation. And any kind of delimitation requires some adjustment. Similar is true also of our body. We think we can enjoy lots of things but we are delimited by our body. There are many things to which our body would not permit like going beyond a certain limit below the water or like flying etc. Thus we are delimited by our body. We are also delimited by the time, which is experienced by everybody. We cannot live forever. Similarly we are also delimited by the stages of life like childhood, youth, old age etc. Thus no matter how much we feel free, we are adjusting at some level every time.

Similar is the situation with the relations. Relations are of many kinds. Few of them are those on which we have no control. They come by our birth like our father, mother, children, siblings, uncles, cousins etc., many of them are superimposed like our colleagues, boss, neighbours etc. And some of them are those that we make like friends etc. Though there are many kinds, but we need to adjustment in all of them. Relationship is perhaps the most demanding field for adjustment.

The common thought about the word adjustment is that it is some kind of compromise that we need to make. And there is a negative sense associated with the word compromise. When we say that we need to adjust, we have a prejudiced notion that we have to compromise. It is not completely wrong but the way it is accepted, makes it something very negative which it is not.

Actually, the concept of Adjustment involves two aspects which are: compromise and benefit. In each kind of adjustment we need to compromise. The fact that there is adjustment everywhere has already been made evident. And every adjustment involves some kind of compromise. The other aspect involved with adjustment is the benefit. As has been said adjustment does not necessarily mean something negative. There are also benefits involved with it.

Now the main question is what makes one kind of adjustment beneficial and the other type of adjustment a compromise? It is nothing external, but our mental attitude towards it. When we project the beneficial side, we do not tend to notice the compromise that is involved in that adjustment. In such cases we generally ignore the very fact that we are making any adjustments. Cases like buying of house or car or choosing a friend, spouse etc. In these cases, since the choice is made by us we tend to focus on the beneficial part of the adjustment and completely ignore the compromise part. This is especially true with respect to the initial time of making the choice. However other factors do appear after the initial phase is over, but this is an altogether different discussion. And the course is just reverse in case of the choices that are not made by us. In such cases we only find faults with the choice, although the benefits are also noticed but it is completely ignored at least in the initial period. We are fully convinced of only our compromises in such cases.

To summarize the whole discussion: Interaction with almost all the things of the world including our own choices involves some kind of adjustment. Adjustment is not a negative word. It has two aspects which are benefit and compromise. Irrespective to the actual object, it is our attitude that determines whether the adjustment is beneficial or involves compromise.

Therefore we must develop correct attitude towards objects, events, and persons etc. which are around us. This correct attitude can be developed by our own experience. But our experiences are always limited. Therefore learning from the experiences of our ancestors and a holistic and keen observation of the people and society around helps us develop the right attitude towards objects. This attitude helps us see both the long term benefits in the present situation of compromise as well as the later compromises involved in the present beneficial situation.

Much of the age old traditions that have ripened beneficial fruits through ages and even in the prior generations seen by us, are abandoned because of lack of this attitude. This is one of the major causes of dissatisfaction in objects around us especially in the relations and the culture passed on to us. This is so because these involve much adjustment in the initial stage to reap the benefit later. A careful attitude of observing the long term benefits from them and keeping them in front shall help reduce the feeling of compromise that is associated with them, which would only lead to great benefits that are its inherent characteristic.              

   

Desire of relativity

Desire of relativity

 
The lord desired and the world came into being. Desire plays a very important part in our life. Constantly we are desiring something or the other. Desire must always have an object. Desire is always with respect to something. It is never so that we say, ‘I desire nothing’, i.e. nothing is the object of my desire. Thus it becomes most important to analyze what drives our desires.

Let’s start with a simple example. My son plays with his cousin-brothers daily and there are constant fights over the toys. Each one desires the same. Recently his brothers went out of station for a month. He had all the toys at his disposal. But he craved for none of them. Nor even  did he play with them accept a few. Again they came back and the fights began.

It is a simple demonstration of the way how our desire works. It is very rare that we think of what we actually desire. Our desires are most of the time instigated by the choices of the other. We desire that particular thing because the other desires it too. So we may be having a car which is running fine and giving good service sufficient for us. But we desire some other car because the other is having it. It is not so that we should nor crave for a higher goal. But that craving must come from our decision. If I haven’t seen the other car, do I desire for it. Was my desire because I thought that the present car is giving me some trouble and I must look for something which has this particular quality which I need? Most probably No.

But such cases are very less where we know what we desire. Our desires are mostly relative. It is mostly the result of our relation with the other. Things which are really necessary for us are usually very less and generally available There is no denial of the fact that all kinds of Progress in life is a must. And one of the purpose of the life is to live comfortably and happily enjoying all the luxuries that it has to offer. But our desires must not be the cause of our misery.

Every life offers opportunity to every person. If we desire according to what the life has offered us, we shall experience a kind of harmony between the desire and its fulfillment as well as the satisfaction derived from it. However if the desires are driven not by necessity but by relativity they shall lead to disharmony, commotion and ultimately misery. It is important to know what we really desire by isolating ourselves from the surrounding which are driving our desires and carefully arriving at the conclusion of ‘necessity’. This itself shall help unloading lots of unwanted pressure with which we have been knowingly and most often unknowingly burdened ourselves with.

Philosophy-A way of Life

ॐ 

Philosophy-A way of Life

People have been afraid rather suspicious of the term philosophy as well as the so called philosophers without realizing the fact that they are literally pervaded by it. Everything around us run on some or the other philosophy. It may be human, an organization, an institution or even a nation. Philosophy is how we live life, it is how we look at things and behave with beings around us in our day to day life. Consider a simple man who thinks living comfortably in life  along with his concept of little morality is enough; he looks at things and interacts with beings around with this pervading concept in his mind. This is his philosophy. Similar philosophies can be seen around us all the time. For few, life is meant to enjoy and consume, thus all things around him are either objects of consumption or means to obtain those objects. For others life may be that which brings sorrows through all quarters. Thus life is a big stage of sadness with bouts of happiness. For few others it may be just the opposite. Even when a person declares that he doesn’t believe in their being a  philosophy of life, he is rather stating his philosophy of life. Thus we all have certain philosophy of life inside us through which or rather according to which we live. Philosophy is like the soul  which is experienced by all of us everyday yet a topic hardly discussed.

Now the question arises, if philosophy is so much eternal then we do not need to bother about it just as we do not bother  about the existence of air although it is the most important constituent for us, in being alive. It is here that we realize the difference. Existence of air or other eternal objects are things about which we can’t do much rather anything. We can just observe them, know about them. But philosophy of life is an evolving  thing. It is made by our thoughts and undergoes through rapid and major changes with changes  in our thoughts, with our learning and our experiences. It is what defines our being and our approach towards life. Thus it is something we can work upon.

How do we enter into this beautiful world of philosophy made so dreadful by our inhibitions ?The first question that we need to ask ourselves is -what do we think is the aim of our life? Most of us have never faced this question, or we have been able to avoid it by diverting or presuming to know the answer. But how many of us can answer this in a definite manner. There may be various aims for different people. It may be acquiring unlimited wealth which is of course for enjoying things, acquiring good  fame such that people may know you or even a bad one for the same sake, doing things so that you may be remembered always, acquiring power or position such that you get command over others, serving or helping other people, etc. etc. Indeed all of these appears to be the aim of our lives, but still there is always one of it which is our chief aim. This can be known when we are given an option and we choose one amongst them. Few people may choose wealth over fame while it is often seen that people leave wealth or rather spend wealth amongst others for fame or good name .Thus wealth is the chief aim for one and fame for the other.

Arriving at the aim of our lives is not an easy task. When we do not have money ,wealth  seems to be the most probable aim of this life, but people who have wealth often speak of  the uselessness of it if they do not have what they desire, usually things like fame, loved ones etc. Thus it is an ever changing entity. Mostly people seems to consider aim of their life as that which they are lacking. Thus the process of finding your aim in life involves a deeper reflection into your inner self. It involves the process of going beyond your basic instinct of trying to achieve what you do not have. In a way the process also involves thinking that all the things are achievable or already present and now what do you want from life? There are various other questions that has to be faced in this process. Whether what you think is the aim of your life is actually fit to be so? Is it all that you would be satisfied with even when other things are not present? What things are you ready to sacrifice for it? etc. etc. Once this aim of life is fixed we move on to the next level of thinking which involves thinking upon the ways of achieving this aim, deciding the best or the most affective way etc. However all these shall come much later. First we must have a fix idea about what should be the aim of our life which shall decide our way of living it. Hope to continue later…